Suffering as a single

On July 24, 2008 I was hit with some very heavy news. Cancer! The news was so heavy that it brought me very low and I cried out to God for strength to handle this news. Moments after my prayer, it was as if God had literally poured out upon me buckets of grace. I could feel God’s grace sustaining me. I will never forget that moment not because of the news of cancer but because the reality of His grace. The news of cancer was heavy upon me but His grace was measured out more.

As I sat in my apartment and considered all the decisions that needed to be made, I imagined that my singleness was going to be compounded. I had always enjoyed my singleness and the freedoms it provided, but felt overwhelmed with immediate needs I would no doubt face alone. I thought, “I might not be able to handle everything alone.” Was I finally going to feel just how alone I really was? It was not long into the planning process that I saw God direct my every step. He was evidently directing my path and I could not deny it.

Just as God allowed me to feel His outpouring of Grace, He also allowed me to test very familiar promises and find them ever faithful. One particular promise was Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.” I was never alone! He was always with me.

It was also clear to me that my trial was not for me alone, but for those around me. So many of my close friends told me how God was using my trial to strengthen them in their faith. This brought me great Joy!! God is our refuge!

This trial and suffering was also an opportunity for me to learn about the body of Christ in a new way. For the first 13 or so years of my faith I had seen a different side of the church. This trial catapulted me to the other side. I was amazed at the response from my Church. Phone calls from my Pastors came immediately. They wanted to take care of me and make sure I was ok. I was amazed! I was prayed for by our deacons and anointed with oil just as God’s word prescribes for those who are sick. I got to experience all this!

There were three women God provided, that stepped up in support and encouragement. Each of these women had different strengths and God supplied the exact strength I would need at each moment. Melissa was my organizer and kept me straight for my appointments and immediate needs. Karen was the one who answered the phone before the first ring went through and said, “What’s wrong?” Then rushed me to the emergency room when I had an allergic reaction to the chemo at 1 in the morning. Missy was my friend whose words were always apples of gold in settings of silver. Whether I needed to be encouraged, or rebuked or even to consider something I hadn’t before, Missy was there. The Lord provided many more and my list can be a mile long of all the kind intentional ways the Church had ministered to my needs.

So back to being single- My initial thought of my singleness being compounded was short lived. According to Isaiah 54:5, “The Lord is your husband”. This verse is very true for every believer, but it is experienced differently in men and women. Women, who have been biblically created as the weaker vessel, have different needs then men. Because this is true one thing I needed as a single woman was a provider! I was able to watch God provide for my every need. I was without want! He was my provider, and he used different means to provide. He provided financially in amazing ways; 3months before I was diagnosed with cancer I purchased an Aflac cancer plan, my job was gracious with my needed time off, and my family was able to house me when I needed more direct care. God provided for all my needs and He used the church as His hands and feet.

Although my actual run with cancer was only 6 months it took about 1 & ½ years to recoup from the treatments. The doctors say I am healed! I am not in remission but completely healthy. I really was not expecting that response, and was truly ready for whatever God had for me. But He chose to heal me. I cannot help but think of those who went on to be with the Lord during my own run. I am grateful and humbled! The only conclusion I can draw is that God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. I give him praise! I find great peace in His ways, because He does all things well.

There are so many things that the Lord taught me through my suffering and it is hard to summarize in a blog entry. But one thing held the anchor tight was that God is sovereign and that this little suffering came from His hand. Knowing that He was the one in control gave me great peace.

Written by Patti Parks